For those sick days while withering away in your bedroom!
Showing posts with label TV. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TV. Show all posts
When Cable TV was AWESOME!
Things your parents might actually tell you about what they watched on cable TV 30 years ago...
More...
There, that outta hold them little SOB's!Nickelodeon in it's infancy...
The Disney Channel when it wasn't just obnoxious teenage crap!
The Nashville Network (before it adopted it's "Spike" status)
CBN Cable Network (now ABC Family)
Check at 6:30 for a promo featuring SuperBook and Honey Honey!
When Soviet TV had a break on The Discovery Channel
THE USA CARTOON EXPRESS!!!
When it used to stood for "Music Television"
When bands like Manowar and REM played on Nick's Livewire!
When HBO took all the DAMN time they needed...
and yet they still went off the air!
When all you had on else on the dial was text-based channels of limited appeal!
And probably one of the best kept achievements for it's time, a look at the QUBE system that was initiated in Columbus, OH
And... your odds & ends...
Buttons & Rusty in "Which Witch is Which?"
I was never a fan of these Buttons & Rusty specials (or the "Chucklewood Critters" series that manifested itself after wards), but here you go, a Halloween special with the critters.
A Family Circus Easter
Well another Easter came and went, but because I wasn't really up to it, I'll bother to talk about the one special I sorta have a bit of hatred towards! On the one hand, it did however inspired me at an impressionable age to go hide Easter eggs all over the house, while my brother became excellent in trapping rabbits in the backyard thanks to the lessons gathered in this half-hour parable.Bil Keane's 50 year old opus on family life in suburbia has entertained, disgusted and even asphyxiated millions through the daily circular panels and Sunday panels of the once familiar medium known as the newspaper (soon to be replaced by some non-tangible substance that can be easily erased from our existence). The charming but always annoying childish antics of Billy, Dolly, Jeff and PJ proved to be ripe for a series of animated TV specials churned out by some nameless group in the late 70's/early 80's that have since practically disappeared from our lives (thankfully). Each pretty much dealt with a specific holiday, but the Easter one in general is the one I saw the most, and for which I'm still trying to recover over.
"A Family Circus Easter" first aired April 08, 1982 on NBC-TV stations across the country, still soaking up on that Family Circus love that could only come out of the exact, perfect hands of an aging Mr. Keane on fine weathered days. I'm not sure what kind of fanfare promoted this to the American public, since I was only 4 then, and resemelbed a very hyperactive Jeffy as seen in the famous comic strip. Hell most of my siblings including my parents are exact doppplegangers according to one panel my mom used to have placed on the window sil in the kitchen where each of the characters seen in a fight have our names placed accordingly. I was Jeff, my older brother Billy, and my younger twin brother and sister were PJ and Dolly spot-on. Enough of that, on with the special...
We get the fanfare-ish opening sequence reminding us this is the comic strip we adore and here's our characters, even though this is the third in the Family Circus Trilogy of Pain, they still feel we're going to forget 'em anyway so why not?
Oh, and who could this "surprise celebrity" be? Oh gee, I guess we'll have to find out!
Well anyway, it's Saturday night, and the guys are coloring eggs on the dining room table, thankfully adorned with the very news-stock that has since been shrinking and dissappearing from our lives. Typical banter from Bil & Co. ensure us our two minutes are being wasted prior to the next commercial, and I was right! Including such gems as this...Dolly: "Dying eggs aren't the same as killing them, is it?"
Billy: "That was a ping-pong ball you put in the yellow glass!"
Daddy: "Ooops."
Dolly: "Let's print "Grandma" on one of the eggs and send it to her."
Daddy: "You can't mail an egg, Dolly."
Billy: "You can if you put enough stamps on it!"
Jeff: "Let's color jelly beans next!"
Eventually the wife Thel shows up with some giant Easter egg she kept in a "high school box" (every one must have one) and the kids want to admire what's inside it just like a certain beagle in a far better Easter special did! A question about the Easter bunny is brought up, and soon Dolly's got a plan.
A commercial break later and it's sometime in the middle of the night. Dolly bothers waking up her sleepy bros and we're in the backyard where her plan to hide all the eggs from PJ goes underway. It's this part of the special that inspired me to do that a few times on my own, waking up at like 5 in the morning and trying to hide eggs all over the house, giving all headaches. But not the headache one's going to get from Dolly when she belts out her own tune about finding the Easter bunny right now. Please cover your ears during this!Really, do we need this torture!
A few minutes of this and the kids have hid all the eggs, but Dolly now has a new problem, the Easter bunny may try to find and re-hide the eggs from PJ. So now a plan to catch the Easter bunny before it happens goes underway. This is where the classic rabbit traps of our youth come into play as Billy sets up one with a box, a stick and string, and then play the waiting game until they catch something.Now it's daybreak, and the kids and pets are still out there waiting for the Easter bunny to come. And you know, they have finally caught the damn thing after all (with Jeff spazzing out like a moron).
A second commercial break later, and our tots are in trouble since mommy's getting up and finds them in the backyard so early. They try to hide the fact there's a box in front of them and Jeffy spills the beans on what they've caught. Since Mommy knows best they have to show her the long-eared rodent who's probably got rabies anyway underneath. She insist on letting it go anyway despite the kids wishes to have PJ find the eggs before they let it go. The parents are OK about that and the egg hunt is on.
Mindless, inept animation interludes us with PJ getting emo because Jeffy bothers to be an A-hole with snatching the eggs himself. Even after the kids bother sharing some of their eggs with PJ anyway, he still bothers throwing a fit. Can't say I wouldn't blame 'em! Another holiday special is ruined by incompetent children, thank you very much!
well now the Easter festivities are over, and Mommy tells them the bunny has to be let free and they bother complying with that. My bother of course would stick these critters in wired cages anyway. Even when I try to pet 'em, it's a real struggle with these wild types! This bunny though doesn't want to just leave right away, and the kids get one of their pooches to do the honors. A cat 'n mouse-like chase sequence ensues, strangely though it's the bunny who's scaring the bejeezus out of the dog.
After that rather clever and probably the best animated sequence this special ever has since the 1940's, it's discovered there's one egg missing out of the 14 that were colored, so the kids bother going out one last time through the backyard jungle to retrieve it, but it's PJ who comes out the winner with finding it himself, Billy doesn't remember them hiding it there, with Dolly insisting it was the Easter bunny after all (and not "Notme" and/or "Ida Know"). Another look into the picture egg of doom is therefore in order, and we get the one sequence I feel like blanking out to.
Really, I could live without another round of song 'n dance in Candy Land with our "surprise celebrity" in the flesh (voice provided by Dizzy Gillespie, so you know where the money went). But no, this is a TV special after all and in the rules of making an effective TV special work (when you're not Peanuts), is to have these garish, bright colors, extravagant choreography and toe-tapping tunes to further bring home the festival holiday message (even though this is essentially a day of Christ's rebirth, I still don't see the point). This goes on for a good 5-6 minutes, so you'll have to really settle in for the borefest!
God is it over yet? No, because after the break, we come to the final joke of the whole special (and it's not the end credits baring the fact this special was probably farmed out to some nameless Korean outfit that is initialed "KWE"), with the family getting their Catholic hinders to church for Easter mass. The collection basket gets passed. Dolly tells PJ that it's God's Easter basket, so he puts his egg on it. Dolly hides it under the bills whispering, "He'll like it better if He has to look for it!"THE END
Really, what more do you want? Well, I did spot one of Bil Keane's illustrious sons apparently credited for "Models" here. The ugly thought of a future Disney legend having done an extensive model sheet of the Easter Bunny just kills me! Well that's it, hopefully the message I give will prevent other comic strip adaptations from following the same dreaded path that The Family Circus bothered to lay down so long ago.
Click HERE for a REAL Easter egg (not likely).
Halloween Specials That Time Forgot: The Scooby-Doo Project
In the fall of 1999, four teenaged sleuths and their Great Dane got lost in the woods while in search of a mystery.This is their story.
Once in a while something unique pops up on TV that you wish you had seen again, and this one has been gone for a good decade so I figure it deserves a shout-out on it's 10th anniversary!
Most people here know I don't watch TV anymore, but back when I still had some faith left in it, CN put out what I felt was a brilliant marketing stunt one Halloween back in 1999. Unlike some previous ones they had surrounding doing a Scooby-Doo marathon, they took a cue from that year's most unique horror film and put out a rather flattering parody on it. Some of the promos leading up to or playing during it also were very clever and well-executed. Wished it was still this way today.
Click HERE for the film!Click HERE for the promos!
Well that should be all for now. Got Thanksgiving coming up if I can muster the strength to do that!
Halloween Specials That Time Forgot: The Great Bear Scare (1983)
We interrupt this blogcast for an important Halloween Special That Time Forgot!
I see I've been slacking off as usual, and that's not a problem for me, the real problem is wanting to go through with this review as I really hate this special 100%. I still wasn't sure where to begin.
Where do I begin?
I guess I'll start at the beginning. It's October, 1983, and your local TV station just scheduled a rather interesting animated Halloween special to play sometime before Halloween, and you anticipate it's release with impatient impulses not seen until puberty! It appears, and afterwards, your left with a senese of deprivation, a kind of which doesn't settle in until many years later, when you come to realize just how bad things could be to the prying eyes of a 6 year old.
But let's skip all the tears of shame for now, here's a rundown of the plot for this story (if you call it a plot). A news bulletin interrupts whatever we're watching (which in this case would've been the station ID slide or a 5 second tag reminding us of the local news at 6). Then we're taken to the Bureau of Bear Affairs in Bearbank where ursine reporter Patti Bear alerts the public of monsters about to invade tomorrow on Halloween night. Legend tells of a mountain conveniently named Monster Mountain nearby where the alleged monsters will be making their trip down to Bearbank from and do all sorts of spooky deeds.
Every bear thinks the same thing, get the hell out of town, all, except for one, Ted E. Bear, who he and him alone fines all of this confusing and questions the reasons bears' fears over something they haven't seen before. All of this however isn't caught on camera as they were on a station break, but the mayor of Bearbank, C. Emory Bear (though he gets referred to as "secretary general" here), overhears the conversation and decides to enlist Ted help in the matter by going up to Monster Mountain and see for himself whether this FEAR exists. Overhearing all this from their secret compound beyond Monster Mountain is Count Dracula and his assistant Miss Witch (guess they couldn't figure out a better name here). Count assures the witch of their plans for tomorrow night, but flies down to Bearbank to eavesdrop on further details including the possibility of Patti covering the story from a news blimp.
As Ted E. drives his car up Bearbank Hwy. to Monster Mountain, he passes by the tired count who now had to walk back home after having some problem with his bat transformation. While beyond Monster Mountain, Mrs. Witch is informed on Ted's arrival and leads a squadron of monsters, ghouls and other fiendish foes to scare 'em out. Even Ted himself is getting second thoughts that bears may be afraid of NOTHING, but he pursues further into this ghastly village to seek the truth for the Bureau of Bear Affairs. Will he find it and return to save the world from NOTHING..?
Well I just gave you the gist of this tale, and you think from the story and screencaps this might actually be very good (especially those character designs), where that's reality settles in, rapes you of your $30 and leaves for dead as fast as it could. This was one of the biggest disappointments I remember from my childhood with rage, and I really didn't know where to begin on reviewing this thing besides give you an overview to the plot (if indeed it has one). Here's what I know...
Based on a children's book written by John Barret in 1981 (featuring illustrations by Rick Reinert Productions, best known for the O.G. Readmore specials on ABC's Weekend Specials), the story was adapted to an animated special in '83, and was syndicated to a number of stations who thought at the time of it giving them something to show the tots around the end of October. In later years, I remember Nickelodeon sticking this up on Special Delivery or in some other part of the schedule during the autumn months.
Now, about the animation... what animation? Oh, that animation! You wouldn't have noticing it unless you saw the opening credit sequences with the ghost prancing about in a cemetery, but the special itself is probably best remembered for it's inept ability to save the most money and time by the simple matter of taking you through a somewhat 'animated storybook' feel itself. Much of the characters movements plus other effects are represented as dissolves between poses, panning and other simple techniques best immortalized in Clutch Cargo. But unlike Clutch Cargo, the facial movements/expressions are still drawn and synced nearly perfect, so I guess they didn't cheat us out of that one.
I can only best compare this sort of thing with the animated storybook videos of the 80's we've all probably saw at least once in our lives, especially those by Golden Book, and while those suited a purpose of being sold and watched easily by pre-schoolers, this special had no excuse not to be animated fully. You're basically watching the equivalent of a timed animatic that went to ink & paint/photography without question. Watching this, I'm almost reminded of that omake for the end of the second Tenchi Muyo Ryo-Ohki OVA series, where Mihoshi comes to chat with Washu about Dr. Clay, Lady Tokimi and the report, while Ryoko is tied up in one of Washu's contraptions for the time being, but after the they leave, she gets mad at still being stuck up there and eventually tears stream as she bawls for her mommy. That's exactly how I felt watching this special (well, not that pathetically).
The story itself doesn't help either way, and the characters themselves just don't fit in with their corny quips and other silly dialogue I could get out of a Mad Libs page. The music pretty much is akin to someone learning the basics of their Casio keyboard and think they could wing it from there. It certainly puts you to sleep in less than a minute!
I would say it has some decent voice talent aboard. Tom Smothers plays the 'courageous' Ted E. Bear, reprising a role he made famous a decade before in "The Bear Who Slept Through Christmas", though in this special, Ted sounds a tad too optimistic and confident not to be a little uncertain to the situation, but I guess Mr. Smothers did his best here. Louis Nye, comedy actor of radio and TV plays Count Dracula, Lucille Bliss, best known as Smurfette on The Smurfs is Miss Witch, while Hal "Otis" Smith plays C. Emory Bear. The only one person who I felt a tad sorry for was Hans Conried, who performs one of his final voice roles as Dr. Werner von Bear in a brief segment discussing Monster Mountain to the audience. The man who breathe life to Captain Hook, Snidely Whiplash and that crazy pilot in an episode of Gilligan's Island almost had his swansong in this special (only to be postdated by something else a few years later).
For a long while I had seen way too many holiday specials, and I could surely state that "The Great Bear Scare" should be consider either the cheapest or worst of them all, but you don't have to take my word for it. While I would post a video here for you to watch, Lionsgate apparently saved me the trouble by doing it themselves on several sites like YouTube, I guess it made sense than to waste money on stamping out hundreds of discs only to be sitting there cobwebbed on the shelves of Walmart this time of year! So just sit back and be AFRAID of NOTHING!Click here if you dare (of course if it's country-restricted, I might have to stick up what I have too if someone pesters me)!
For an extra link, here's a review someone else did of this same special that he apparently saw care of a TV station that aired it around Christmas (guess even they knew how bad this was and tried to bury it somewhere on schedule).
I still have one more special to do until the next batch for Turkey Day, but I might be able to get it done tonight if I pull an all-nighter (which isn't hard for me). Just that I don't have much to do now that I'm over a hundred bucks in the hole!
Halloween Specials That Time Forgot: Witch's Night Out (1978)
Another day, another review of Halloween Specials That Time Forgot!
Meet Small and Tender (literally), two sibs just bursting with energy as they can't wait til Halloween night so scare everyone in town with their cheapo masks (best their parents could buy 'em down at Kmart I take it). The grown-ups however have their own ideas of what Halloween should be, against the ideas the children have all the long. Malicious and Rotten (you can tell their the baddies because of their putrid colors) display their disgust of the holiday, while Goodly (the town jerk, or pansy, take your pick) insist there needs to be something in it for adults to be a part of as well. Nicely (the village idiot/whore) can't help but suggest the pretty/beauty that Halloween isn't really about, but suggests a party with Goodly fails to talk his way out of. Aside from planning the party, a need for a haunted house is thereof in perfect order, and Goodly and Rotten begin on their trek for a house worthy of a party filled with adultery (just kidding).
Meanwhile, in the outskirts of town, a witch in a run-down house crys and moans over how she hasn't gotten any work or fun out of Halloween in a long time since nobody has called for her services. Just then the two bozos come knockin' at their door, letting themselves in anyway to see the joint, and to make plans on where to stage things like a stereo for the party. The witch couldn't be more than happy to help out with her devilish surprises.
That night, Small and Tender tend to their trick or treating, only to come to the realization that nobody was scared of them, and knew who they were all the long. Back at home, Small and Tender go to bed, feeling all sad pissed at how their trick or treating's gone to bust, when suddenly...
Just kidding, it's only their babysitter Bazooey (the friendly neighborhood hippie, and he probably needed the job badly so he can go buy himself a brand new comb) who came to tell them a bedtime story. Being fed up with Halloween, Bazooey tells them one of a fairy godmother as the kids listen in. Meanwhile, the grown-up party goes underway in the haunted house, complete with the usual chatter, hors d'œuvres and the like. Don't ask me where they put the coats at (hadn't notice where the bedroom was in this home). The Witch comes up with a plan to use her magic wand to living things up at this party of boring gab.
After reading the story, Small and Tender go on wishing they had a fairy godmother to help them on their Halloween scare-a-thon, and because of that, their wishes transmitted telepathically to the witch, who's more than happy to leave her home to heed to the call, breaking through the window of Small and Tender's room. The kids start calling her a fairy godmother, but Bazooey's not buy it. Small asks to be a wolfman, while Tender a ghost, and so it shall be! Baoozey just goes apes--t at the thought of what is happening, and tells the witch these kids were his responsibility. After some convincing, Bazooey is turned into a Frankenstein's Monster. With the classic generic icons of Halloween festivities in place, the witch whisks them off to her house for a night of ghoulish fright at the grown-up borefest.
After scarring the crap out of everyone and everything in the place, the kids get all emo at the thought that nobody knew who they were due to their horrible appearances (gee, didn't they wanted that anyway), and wanted to be turned back to normal, but the witch's wand gets lost in the shuffle of the crowd vacating the door, so now a search through town is therefor in order, admist a mob now crying bloody murder at the loss of Bazooey, Tender and Small (how they find out they're gone I'll never know, it's one of those small towns I guess).
Will the three guys get turned to normal, will the Witch find her magic wand, and will the true spirit/meaning of Halloween be acknowledged, just watch and see!
While I gave you the jist of this special, it's look and design might need to be mentioned as well. As it's a late 70's special, it features a kind of minimalistic approach to the cartoon where the characters are rendered individually in the same color throughout most of their bodies, despite the backgrounds and other details being far more lavished with care. To say this is the work of a bored high school student is an overstatement, I think it works every effectively for the story and characterization (even though the names alone sound like ones you'd give The Smurfs). This was just one of those I saw a long, long time ago, and hardly remembered it at all until today, and it's quite refreshing to see it again after so long (old-school mentality settling in), plus I think it had a pretty funky theme song. It was produced by another Canadian outfit, Leach/Rankin Productions, Ltd. and aired on NBC in 1978, and featuring the voice of SNL's Gilda Radner as the wtich (though renamed "The Godmother" in the end credits), this special is surely a Halloween special time forgotten a tad ago.
Click HERE for some witch's magic!
Meet Small and Tender (literally), two sibs just bursting with energy as they can't wait til Halloween night so scare everyone in town with their cheapo masks (best their parents could buy 'em down at Kmart I take it). The grown-ups however have their own ideas of what Halloween should be, against the ideas the children have all the long. Malicious and Rotten (you can tell their the baddies because of their putrid colors) display their disgust of the holiday, while Goodly (the town jerk, or pansy, take your pick) insist there needs to be something in it for adults to be a part of as well. Nicely (the village idiot/whore) can't help but suggest the pretty/beauty that Halloween isn't really about, but suggests a party with Goodly fails to talk his way out of. Aside from planning the party, a need for a haunted house is thereof in perfect order, and Goodly and Rotten begin on their trek for a house worthy of a party filled with adultery (just kidding).
Meanwhile, in the outskirts of town, a witch in a run-down house crys and moans over how she hasn't gotten any work or fun out of Halloween in a long time since nobody has called for her services. Just then the two bozos come knockin' at their door, letting themselves in anyway to see the joint, and to make plans on where to stage things like a stereo for the party. The witch couldn't be more than happy to help out with her devilish surprises.
That night, Small and Tender tend to their trick or treating, only to come to the realization that nobody was scared of them, and knew who they were all the long. Back at home, Small and Tender go to bed, feeling all sad pissed at how their trick or treating's gone to bust, when suddenly...Freddy comes through the door!
Just kidding, it's only their babysitter Bazooey (the friendly neighborhood hippie, and he probably needed the job badly so he can go buy himself a brand new comb) who came to tell them a bedtime story. Being fed up with Halloween, Bazooey tells them one of a fairy godmother as the kids listen in. Meanwhile, the grown-up party goes underway in the haunted house, complete with the usual chatter, hors d'œuvres and the like. Don't ask me where they put the coats at (hadn't notice where the bedroom was in this home). The Witch comes up with a plan to use her magic wand to living things up at this party of boring gab.
After reading the story, Small and Tender go on wishing they had a fairy godmother to help them on their Halloween scare-a-thon, and because of that, their wishes transmitted telepathically to the witch, who's more than happy to leave her home to heed to the call, breaking through the window of Small and Tender's room. The kids start calling her a fairy godmother, but Bazooey's not buy it. Small asks to be a wolfman, while Tender a ghost, and so it shall be! Baoozey just goes apes--t at the thought of what is happening, and tells the witch these kids were his responsibility. After some convincing, Bazooey is turned into a Frankenstein's Monster. With the classic generic icons of Halloween festivities in place, the witch whisks them off to her house for a night of ghoulish fright at the grown-up borefest.
After scarring the crap out of everyone and everything in the place, the kids get all emo at the thought that nobody knew who they were due to their horrible appearances (gee, didn't they wanted that anyway), and wanted to be turned back to normal, but the witch's wand gets lost in the shuffle of the crowd vacating the door, so now a search through town is therefor in order, admist a mob now crying bloody murder at the loss of Bazooey, Tender and Small (how they find out they're gone I'll never know, it's one of those small towns I guess).
Will the three guys get turned to normal, will the Witch find her magic wand, and will the true spirit/meaning of Halloween be acknowledged, just watch and see!
While I gave you the jist of this special, it's look and design might need to be mentioned as well. As it's a late 70's special, it features a kind of minimalistic approach to the cartoon where the characters are rendered individually in the same color throughout most of their bodies, despite the backgrounds and other details being far more lavished with care. To say this is the work of a bored high school student is an overstatement, I think it works every effectively for the story and characterization (even though the names alone sound like ones you'd give The Smurfs). This was just one of those I saw a long, long time ago, and hardly remembered it at all until today, and it's quite refreshing to see it again after so long (old-school mentality settling in), plus I think it had a pretty funky theme song. It was produced by another Canadian outfit, Leach/Rankin Productions, Ltd. and aired on NBC in 1978, and featuring the voice of SNL's Gilda Radner as the wtich (though renamed "The Godmother" in the end credits), this special is surely a Halloween special time forgotten a tad ago.Click HERE for some witch's magic!
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