I was sick and slept all day

Granted, he's no Art Carney, but we do get Dickless from "Ghostbusters" and Richard Mulligan (who was great in "S.O.B.").

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Festivus

It's true. They really will Sell you an aluminum* pole. The entire thing was started on this show called "Seinfeld", and if you have any questions about that, you can ask your parents or watch it late at night on local TV.

Considering American culture, it's no more or less significant than any other holiday.




Or, if you're in the UK, an aluminum pole.

Hey, it won an Oscar.

But wait! There's

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(I think the ghost of Christmas Past looks like a Tralfamadorian.)

Feel the love

Eeeeels

Eel is a difficult fish to prepare. The eel is first filleted, and then grilled on open flame. This gets rid of excess fat under the skin, which is where the unpleasant scent mostly comes from. Then it is steamed to make the meat fluffy and to further drain out the oils. After this, it is once again grilled on open flame while basting it many times with eel sauce (unagi no tare) which is made from the eel trimmings, soy sauce, sugar, and sake (rice wine).

I don't like the little bones, but I can see why people think it's pretty neat.

Eels - "Christmas Is Going To The Dogs"


Candy Claws - "Snowflake Eel Wish"

Two holidays for the price of one

You know, I had this grand plan for some solstice videos or an eclipse video or something, but I swear to you, I cold not find one that did not contain one of the following:

• More text than anyone wants to look at
• In a font that makes you want to puke
• "Haunting" piano music
• Mystical hippie-dippie music or similar "newage" (rhymes with "sewage"!) soundtrack
• Someone who will not shut up about having a "double rainbow" experience.

Look, I went out there and I looked at it. Yes, it was surreal. No, it was not life-changing. It was one o'clock in the AM and I was tired. It turned red. I quoted Revelations. The roomie busted out the telescope and we looked at the moon. I went inside and watched the opening credits to Stanley Kubrick's "2001". I went to bed.

Yesterday, I scoured my collection (and everyone else's) to find something that would be appropriate. I found this god-awful thing about werewolves.

But then, I thought, hold on. The bestest movie ever about creepy things and the holidays has already been made. Yes, I know, you've seen it before. But isn't it nice to be reminded that there's a good movie that isn't "White Christmas" out there? Heck, decorate your tree, then turn it on its side and build a snake to eat it.

Boris Pickett - "Monster's Holiday"


Fiona Apple - "Sally's Song"


Last minute? Yes, it was.

Everthus - "Deadbeat Christmas"

David Sedaris

There is a longer version of this, unedited, that starts with a discussion of gun laws.

Meanwhile, here are the Santa Land Diaries.

Nutcracker

So! Criterion put out the DVD of The Tales of Hoffman. I had to watch it because, you know, it's Advent, and that means the "Nutcracker", and that was written by Hoffman.

Oh my god but this movie is sick.

The singing is fantastic, the dancing is fantastic, and the costume design is going to give me nightmares for weeks. Every set looks like the cover of a 50's sci-fi paperback. Jean Cocteau is watching this film from the grave and asking, "Why didn't I do that? Screw La Belle et la Bête."

I'm serious; I have to recover after watching this. The doll banquet has me massively skeeved.

Everything about this is wrong

That's Herb Albert, who knows better. I mean, the guy created "Whipped Cream and Other Delights", fer crissake. The guy gave us Little Spanish Flea. Some of us have yet to forgive him.

Actually, Tijuana Christmas is a lesser offense. Alpert was actually inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on March 13, 2006. Try to remember that the next time you listen to Casino Royale.

Saturnalia!

So, you're wondering what Saturnalia is. Well, there's a link. Have at.

To me, the whole idea of masters and servants switching places reminds me of Twelfth Night and Wassail.

There's a part of me that looks at all these Pagan holidays and says, "Suck it, xians!" but let's be honest here. At the end of the day, who cares? It's a time to spend with your folks and loved ones and share presents and food and warmth and all that happy stuff. It's a little light in the middle of winter and who cares how it started? Just be nice to each other, for Mithras' sake.

Artisan - "Somerset Wassail"

Still singing the blues?

Well, yeah. Still wishing for a happy holidays for everyone. I hear lottery-tickets make great stocking-stuffers!

Pearl Bailey - "A Five Pound Box of Money"

Someone didn't pay their color bill

It's been a very tough time of year for a lot of folks, so let's all hope next year is better.

Blind Lemon Jefferson - "Christmas Eve Blues"


Johnny Lee Hooker - "Blues For Christmas"

Potatoes are better when they're mashed.

The new SANTASTIC! is out for this year. I've been following these guys since 2005 at least and they are always worth it. I would recommend getting to know them, and their prior work, better.

I would post more of their videos, but they usually get taken down.

Dan Phillips - "Jingles are Jingles"

Sugar Plum Rum

This man is a master of his craft. Everyone else is just faking it.

The story of The Nutcracker and the Mouse King was written by E. T. A. Hoffmann. Alexandre Dumas' adaptation of the story was set to music by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky and has become the most popular ballet performed around Christmas time. Because the ballet centers around a young girl's Christmas gift of a life-size nutcracker, it has become a standard performance during the Christmas holiday season.

Tchaikovsky hated the ballet. He also wrote "Swan Lake". Have you seen "Black Swan" yet? I've heard both good and bad.

Speaking of masters, here's some Duke Ellington.

Bees!

So, what does Eddie Izzard have to do with Christmas? Well, I have a favorite charity, Heifer International. Minor amounts of money give people around the world the means by which to sustain themselves.

And I like to give people bees. I know we haven't been that great about keeping bees in the developed world, with all that CCD and stuff, but I figure that sending bees somewhere will do some good.

Heifer has lots of other stuff that you can give, like trees and cows and such. It's like outfitting the apocalypse, so think about what you would like to have if society failed.

El Vez - "Oranges for Christmas"


Advent wreath people! Your readings for tonight's candle are Micah 5:2, Isaiah 2:1-5, and Matthew 2:1-2, 9-11 and 3:1-6. If you're going to do it, do it right.

Support for the troops

Ah, Jona Lewie is good any time of year.

Though there was no official truce, about 100,000 British and German troops were involved in unofficial cessations of fighting along the length of the Western Front. The first truce started on Christmas Eve, 24 December 1914, when German troops began decorating the area around their trenches in the region of Ypres, Belgium.

The Germans began by placing candles on their trenches and on Christmas trees, then continued the celebration by singing Christmas carols. The British responded by singing carols of their own. The two sides continued by shouting Christmas greetings to each other. Soon thereafter, there were excursions across the 'No Man's Land', where small gifts were exchanged, such as food, tobacco and alcohol, and souvenirs such as buttons and hats. The artillery in the region fell silent that night. The truce also allowed a breathing spell where recently-fallen soldiers could be brought back behind their lines by burial parties. Joint services were held. The fraternisation was not, however, without its risks; some soldiers were shot by opposing forces. In many sectors, the truce lasted through Christmas night, but it continued until New Year's Day in others.

Have you considered Trees for Troops? Maybe you could write to your congressman and ask them to bring someone home for the holidays.

Bing Crosby - "I'll Be Home For Christmas"

Toys for Tots

I still can't watch this ad without getting all weepy. I hope that, this year, you can find it in your heart to give to one of the most efficient charities ever.

And here's a song that makes me all sad. "If I was Santa Claus" by Atmosphere.

Santa wore black

These people are insane. I just want to say that now.

Krampus is a mythical creature. In various regions of the world – especially Austria and Hungary – it is believed that Krampus accompanies St. Nicholas during the Christmas season, warning and punishing bad children, in contrast to St. Nicholas, who gives gifts to good children. Due to German and Austrian influence, the myth of Krampus is also prevalent in Croatia, Slovakia, Slovenia and northern Italy.

Here's some Nine Inch Noels.

Rock, rock on!

Dude, it's Neil. It's like he brings his own hairspray and spandex pants.

Mojochronic - "Whoville (Won't get Yuled Again)"

Hope you're somewhere warm

I really did look for a better video of this. You anime music video people need to get cracking so I'll have something better next year.

Go Home Productions - "High Tides And Blocked Peace Pipes"


Thinking warm thoughts.....thinking warm thoughts....